My Father's Blessing

Last Sunday afternoon

            I received my father’s blessing.

I had called Mom and Dad on the phone.

We were talking about Mom’s recent diagnosis

            of Alzheimer’s disease.

It was a touching conversation,

            and both my parents were fully engaged.

They spoke of approaching each day

            with the expectation of happiness,

                        based on God’s goodness.

And on the simple delight of a shared day

            after 60 years of life together.

I told them that I wished I could be with them,

            to be more supportive in these challenging days.

Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere,

            Dad said, “I’m so proud of you.”

What was that again?

I said nothing

            and began to weep as Mom continued talking.

I’ve waited all my life to hear that!

            Dad has told me “I love you,”

                        but this is my first time to hear

                             “I’m proud…”

                                      Wow!

From childhood I’ve waited.

He was the master carpenter, skilled with his hands.

            I could never measure up.

I remember his expressions

            of frustration and disappointment.

Those words and expressions have lingered

            like weights all these years.

Four years ago I brought them

            a book of 50 old hymn texts

                        for which I had written new tunes.

He seemed to pay no attention to it at all.

            I was crushed by his indifference.

                        I was angry.

                                    He didn’t understand, I think.

But now I have the “I’m proud…”

            I had given up ever expecting

                        to hear that from him.

Something has been released within me,

            something powerful…

Dare I say it?

            I wonder if some demon

                        has been exorcised from my life.

In their book The Blessing,

            John Trent and Gary Smalley offer a look

                        at the life-changing gift

                                    which the Bible calls “the blessing.”

            The unconditional love and approval

                        that come with a parent’s blessing

                                    can be important elements

                                                in our emotional well-being.

I’ve got it now!

            And no one can take that away from me!