Don Messer's Jubilee

In the 1960s, it was the most-watched show in Canada (after Hockey Night in Canada).
More popular than The Ed Sullivan Show or Bonanza, more popular than The Beverly Hillbillies or The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

This half-hour musical variety show was broadcast nationwide in Canada from 1959 until 1969.

It featured Don Messer and His Islanders, old-time instrumentalists led on the fiddle by Messer himself. (My mom's cousin Vic Mullen played guitar and banjo with them.) Marge Osbourne and Charlie Chamberlain were regular vocalists, and the fast-stepping Buchta Dancers provided colour and flair.

There was always a guest musician/singer/dancer. Stompin' Tom Connors (who deserves a whole other blog post) and Catherine McKinnon were among the guests.

The Best of Don Messer is one of releases in the 20th Century Masters series of CDs. Its liner notes say: "...Don Messer remains one of the best known names in Canadian fiddle playing. The 'down east' style he helped to develop... was characterized by jigs, reels, polkas and waltzes combined with Dixie, fox-trot and jive... His influence was and remains enormous, ...that great tradition including Ashley MacIsaac and Natalie McMaster..." This CD includes his original compositions Woodchopper's Breakdown and Flop-Eared Mule, along with covers of Red Wing and The Road to the Isles.

When the CBC canceled his show in 1969, there was nationwide protest, and debate in Canada's House of Commons. Messer died in 1973, but his memory is honoured by Canadian folk music fans. And merchandisers :) All kinds of Don Messer tourism stuff is available throughout Atlantic Canada.

As kids, many of us hardly paid attention to these people. The 1960s were the days of the Beatles and The Guess Who and Trudeaumania. We had other things on our minds. But now I'm glad to watch their black-and-white clips on YouTube ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNCyddtqZEU ) and listen to their CDs.

                                              

[Two current news stories should be in our thoughts and prayers today: 

(1) The looming oil spill disaster in the Gulf of Mexico: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/30/AR2010043000805.html

(2) The new, stricter Arizona state immigration law:  http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/04/28/critics-blast-arizona-immigration-law-throwback-jim-crow/ ]

Persistence in Blogging and in Life

You've probably heard this quote from Calvin Coolidge:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

I'm not sure about omnipotent, but we get the point.

About what are you persevering in your life right now?

And what motivates you to get up out of bed and do the same thing day after tedious day?

When it comes to blogging, it's ambition that drives me. At age 56, I want to leave a tangible legacy of useful things behind me that will continue to be useful when I'm gone.

I want to write hymns and songs that people somewhere will sing.

I want to write several books that will be read by more than eight people, books that will not gather dust on the shelves.

Yesterday I told my friend Jon Switzer that it was vanity which caused me to persist in getting up every morning to write a daily blog, and vanity that drove me to work at hymn-writing. But whatever one calls it, Jon didn't think it was a bad thing. We talked about Jesus's statement "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." (Mark 9:35) Jesus didn't condemn the desire to be great, but he said, more or less, "If you want to do that, here is the way; be the servant of everybody. Do something helpful, sometime useful, and have a humble spirit about it."

So that's what I'm trying to do. 

I still want to be great, and sometimes it doesn't even feel like self-centeredness that's at work in me.

And I remember old Charles Wesley, who wrote about 5000 hymns, 50 of them surviving for 250 years now.

So if I write 300 hymns a year for 15 years........................(smile)

The Real Deal: Jack and Charlene Mackenzie

David's funeral was well-attended -- it seemed like a thousand people were there. And I was one of them.

My friend David Mackenzie died in 1974 during his first year of college. He had been a gifted musician and actor. Leaving home in eastern Canada, he had ventured to Kansas to attend a Christian college. It was there that he died in a small plane crash, along with the plane's pilot and two other young college men.

The funeral was packed with what seemed like hundreds of former high school friends, church friends, and others. I was there with the young woman I dated at the time.

I only remember one thing from the funeral service itself. At some point, David's father stood, waved a handkerchief in the air above his head, and shouted, "Glory!".

It caught my attention.

Jack and Charlene Mackenzie were parents to David, his two brothers and a sister Elaine. The Mackenzies pastored a church in Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada. In their younger days they had traveled as music evangelists. Jack was wiry and energetic. Charlene was hard-working and seemed to have 500 best friends.

Within eighteen months I would be living in their home (briefly) and working in their church. I learned that they were the "real deal" -- what you saw was who they really were. People of integrity and grace, their emotions relatively unguarded. They seemed to love everybody.

As a young man, Jack had longed for more of God's power in his life. Together with a friend, he had prayed in the hayloft of an empty barn, and experienced a spiritual breakthrough that changed his life and ministry forever.

In 1979, the Mackenzies' daughter Elaine also died (at age 19) after a nine-year battle with amyotrophic lateral schlerosis.

How can a family bear up under such a weight of grief?
With grace and faith and love.

Jack and Charlene are unsung heroes. They continue to serve God faithfully -- sweetly -- thirty years after these tragedies. This is grace under fire, the persistence of hope in the face of overwhelming loss.

The Mackenzies can smile and live life to the full, for they expect to see David and Elaine again in a land where roses never fade.

Joy in Space: Why You Should Read C.S.Lewis's "Space Trilogy"

I am not a science fiction fan. But I love these three books.

Several years ago my wife and I read C. S. Lewis's "Space Trilogy." Written in the 1940s, these three novels sparkle with Lewis's economical prose. Lewis seems to be able to describe in one page what other writers say in four. 

The main character of all three novels is Dr. Ransom, a Cambridge philologist who enjoys walking tours through the backroads of England.

In the first book, "Out of the Silent Planet", Ransom is kidnapped into a spaceship and taken to Mars (Malacandra), where he narrowly escapes death as a human sacrifice.

In the second book, "Perelandra", he visits Venus, a watery planet with adventures in store.

The third book, "That Hideous Strength", details a largely unseen spiritual battle for the control of Great Britain.

The mental images conjured up by Lewis's storytelling are both fascinating and lingering. Thoughtful readers glimpse deeper realities beneath these fantastic tales.

After finishing the trilogy, we read Frank Peretti's "This Present Darkness", and (no insult to Peretti) we knew we were going from a great writer to a lesser one.

These tales are timeless. I hope you'll read them for yourself  :)

Race for Stanley Cup Heats Up

Lord Stanley never knew what he was starting when he bought a cup in 1892.

As Canada's Governor-General, the Englishman had become an ice hockey enthusiast. His sons Arthur and Algernon started their own team called the Rideau Hall Rebels. So the future 16th Earl of Derby purchased a cup and had it engraved, and it eventually became the emblem of NHL supremacy.

If William Shatner wants to be appointed as Canada's next Governor-General, he needs to start showing up at NHL playoff games (in Vancouver or Montreal, not San Jose!).

The NHL's top 16 teams vie for the trophy. It takes four playoff series (winning 16 games) for the eventual NHL champion to hoist the cup and drink champagne from it.

The first set of playoff series (conference quarterfinals) are nearing completion. We know that Pittsburgh and Philadelphia and Vancouver and San Jose will advance. Perhaps Washington, Chicago, Buffalo and Detroit will join them. (We'll know this week.)

Hockey mania is already at a fever pitch throughout Canada, and here where I live (near Washington, DC), there are great hopes for the Washington Capitals to beat the Montreal Canadiens. But the Canadiens have played well, and we're fearful that the Caps (with the NHL's best regular-season record) may not make it to the top of the heap.

Next Monday I'll update this story, but if you're a real hockey fan you'll find hundreds of other hockey stories online. Here's a good story on why the NHL playoffs beat the NBA playoffs: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/384228-give-me-the-nhl-playoffs-over-the-nba-playoffs-anyday

William Shatner: Governor-General of Canada?

The CBC website reports a grassroots effort on Facebook to draft William Shatner as Canada's next Governor-General:
http://www.cbc.ca/arts/media/blogs/popculture/2010/04/william-shatner-to-boldly-go-for-governor-general.html

Really?!! Now that would be something!

Feel free to post your pros and cons here :)

Caedmon, the Farmer who Began to Sing

The story of Caedmon is intriguing.

Living in the seventh century, A.D., Caedmon is the earliest English poet whose name is known. He lived at Whitby in northern England, 100 miles from the Scottish border.

We can think of him as a minstrel or bard who composed poems and tunes in his head and recited or sang them from memory. The story of Caedmon is handed down to us by the Venerable Bede, a well-known scholar just one generation younger than Caedmon himself.

Caedmon was a herdsman-laborer who worked at Whitby monastery, founded by St. Hilda in 657. One night the laborers gathered for dinner, and afterwards the harp was passed from hand to hand, as it often was, for singing and poetry. Since Caedmon knew nothing of poetry and had no skill in music, he stepped out and retired to the stable, where he was assigned to care for the cattle.

As he slept, he had a vision. A heavenly being stood by him and called him by name.
"Sing to me."
"I cannot sing," said Caedmon, "and therefore I left the feast."
"Sing to me, however. Sing of Creation."
Immediately Caedmon began to sing praises to God, with words and tunes he had never heard before.

In the morning Caedmon recited his story and verses to Hilda and the learned men of the monastery.
They all agreed that he had received a gift from God.

At Hilda's encouragement, Caedmon became a brother, a monk. He was taught from the Scriptures and turned much of what he heard into poems and songs.

When I think of Caedmon, I am reminded that any musical skill I have is a gift from God.

And the best hymns and songs are written from hearts that are full of praise.

(Hear Caedmon's Creation hymn in Old English here:

http://www.wwnorton.com/nael/noa/realmedia/CademonsHymn.rm )

(Read more about Caedmon here:

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/03131c.htm and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caedmon )

Up, Up, Up the Spiral Stairway

Sometimes you've got to "walk on the wild side" to experience a memorable moment :)

Baker Park is one of the joys of Frederick, Maryland. Encompassing 35 acres in the heart of the city, it features a bandshell, ball diamonds, tennis courts, playgrounds, picnic areas and a swimming pool. 

But its distinguishing feature is the beautiful Joseph Dill Baker Memorial Carillon (see picture above). Originally built in 1941 with 14 bells, it now houses 49 bells, and delights listeners with Sunday concerts throughout the summer months.


Last Monday afternoon, my three-year-old grandson Caleb asked his mother if they could go to "Bacon Park". My wife Connie and I were invited to accompany Caleb, his one-year-old brother Sam, and my daughter Aleen. We readily agreed :)


The day was beautiful, and many children were playing in the sandbox, on the swings or jungle gym.


But Caleb heard the bells.


He had heard them on earlier visits, and was enchanted by them. Normally they toll each quarter hour, but this day we heard musical arrangements. Were they computer-generated or was there a living musician inside?


We ambled past a fountain toward the carillon. Caleb petted several small dogs along the way, and was briefly distracted by a college student sitting on a bench, playing his Fender resonator guitar.


Walking to the carillon entrance, I noticed that its huge, ornate door was ajar. Slipping inside, I saw a handmade sign indicating that the carillon was in use and welcoming us to "come on up". 


Excitedly, I rushed back to my daughter to share the good news. (In retrospect, I guess I was as interested in this adventure as Caleb was.) We entered the tower, only to realize that carrying two small boys up the spiral stairway was a significant challenge. I lifted Caleb into my arms while Aleen carried Sam.


The first stairway was perhaps 20 feet high. It led to a landing area where we could "rest up". Then up the second stairway (15 feet?) to the room where the carillonneur sat at the console - a keyboard (called a baton) and a pedal keyboard beneath his feet.

The carillonneur was a student, a friendly young man who allowed Caleb to sit on the bench beside him and play several of the bells. Aleen took a picture of this with her cellphone camera. We looked up through a trapdoor and saw several of the giant bells above.


I had been nervous carrying my grandson up the stairway, but going down was far worse. I elected to hold him firmly with both hands, leaning back slightly against the steel handrail for support. We all inched our way down. Then it was off to the playground again, and Caleb was soon high on the jungle gym.


Caleb may not remember this day in future years. He will have lots of other things to occupy his thoughts. But for this grandfather, it was a gentle, precious adventure. It may not rank up there with your greatest feats, but I hope to remember our "wild climb" to the end of my days :)

Pray for Africa

Sunday's New York Times carried an op-ed piece by Bono about his recent trip to Africa in which he met with home-grown entrepreneurs and activists for change. Read about it here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/18/opinion/18bono.html?hp

The continent of Africa holds a fascination for many people, but probably most of us never think of it on any given day. It is Earth's second-most populous continent, with more than one billion people in 61 nations and territories.

About 400 million Christians live on this continent, and their numbers are growing rapidly. In his important book "The Next Christendom: The Rise of Global Christianity", Philip Jenkins details the roots and spectacular progress of the Christian church in Africa.

Yet there are many concerns -- poverty, political corruption, war, and continual friction with Muslims, who comprise 45% of Africa's population.

Take a few minutes this week to pray for Africa, and ask God what your role may be in His plan for this great continent.

My Friend Skip, a Spiritual Practitioner

Last Saturday morning I had breakfast with my friend Skip at the International House of Pancakes. We get together every few months to visit and have some "interfaith dialogue."

Skip is a "spiritual practitioner" by his own definition. He has given me permission to write about our friendship and our conversations together.

Skip is about 40 years old, bright, thoughtful and articulate. He is near the end of a 20-something-year career in the United States Marine Corps. (Once he was a boot camp drill sergeant.)

Raised in Oklahoma, Skip was exposed to the gospel as a child. His grandfather was a Nazarene pastor. And Skip, like almost everybody, is fascinated by Jesus. He quotes Jesus to me.

But Skip is a sampler of the "spiritual buffet." He takes a little from Christianity, more from Buddhism and Hinduism, and a lot from current writers like Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra. When I mentioned that his faith is a "spiritual buffet," Skip strongly agreed. He sees that as a good thing.

He encouraged me to read a book by Bernadette Roberts, a former nun and Christian mystic. I bought her book "What Is Self?: A Study of the Spiritual Journey in Terms of Consciousness". Her writing is so dense that I hardly got past the preface.

Skip is not going to convert me. After 44 years as a follower of Jesus, I am more convinced than ever that Jesus is God, and that His death and resurrection are the hinge of history. I have the opportunity, time after time, to present the claims of Jesus as Skip and I visit together.

But Skip likes to talk with me. I really do want to understand him. My faith in Jesus is strengthened by our conversation. And, surprisingly, when it comes to life, there are a lot of things on which we agree. I look forward to our next conversation, and I pray for Skip and his family.

My hope for Skip (as I have told him) is that he will come to put his trust in Jesus. But in the meantime, I want him to know that I care.

This Church Restates Its Values

Craig Groeschel is founder and senior pastor of LifeChurch.tv, a multi-site church begun in 1996 which functions at thirteen locations in six states.

In blog posts this week, he rearticulates some of the values of LifeChurch.tv --

1) We are faith-filled, big thinking, bet-the-farm risk takers. We’ll never insult God with small thinking and safe living.

2) We are all about the “capital C” Church! The local church is the hope of the world and we know we can accomplish infinitely more together than apart.

3) We are spiritual contributors not spiritual consumers. The church does not exist for us. We are the church and we exist for the world.

4) We give up things we love for things we love even more. It’s an honor to sacrifice for Christ and His church.

5) We wholeheartedly reject the label mega-church. We are a micro-church with a mega-vision.

6) We will do anything short of sin to reach people who don’t know Christ. To reach people no one is reaching, we’ll have to do things no one is doing.

7) We will lead the way with irrational generosity. We truly believe it is more blessed to give than to receive.

8) We will laugh hard, loud and often. Nothing is more fun than serving God with people you love!

9) We will be known for what we are for, not what we’re against. There are already enough jerks in the world.

Groeschel continues his list of values today at
 http://swerve.lifechurch.tv/2010/04/15/the-code-writing-the-unwritten/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+lcswerve+(LifeChurch.tv+:+swerve)

Fundy Rocks!

Is the Bay of Fundy one of the New 7 Wonders of Nature?


Watch a short video clip and read about it here: 
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/nova-scotia/story/2010/04/14/nb-bay-of-fundy-natural-wonders-tourism-227.html


A worldwide contest is underway to choose 7 new wonders, and the Bay of Fundy is Canada's lone entry (with stiff competition from 27 other finalists, including the Grand Canyon, Amazon Rainforest and Ireland's Cliffs of Moher). 


Fundy Bay is not likely to make the final seven, but for those of us familiar with it, Fundy is spectacular for its 15-metre tides (among the highest in the world), wildlife and scenic shoreline.


If you live (or have lived) in Nova Scotia or New Brunswick, you realize, if you think about it, that it dominates our geography and tourism. Both the Reversing Falls and Tidal Bore are the result of high tides overwhelming the mouths of the Saint John River and Petitcodiac River.


Wikipedia reports: "When the tidal bore approaches [on the Shubenacadie River], completely drained riverbeds are filled. It has claimed the lives of several tourists who were in the riverbeds when the bore came in." ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tidal_bore )


And if you've lived on Grand Manan Island (which is worth a whole week of future blog posts), you're surrounded by the Bay, and need no convincing that life on the Island is dominated by the Bay that surrounds it.


You can vote for the Bay of Fundy in this worldwide contest at http://www.new7wonders.com/ .

Jack Stevens, Hero

Jack was a hero, but I didn't know it until long after he was gone.


I knew him as a man of an earlier generation, kind, simple, hard-working. But there was more.


In her well-researched book "The Communion of Saints," my friend Vesta Dunlop Mullen profiles men and women who were ordained ministers of the Reformed Baptist Church between 1888 and 1966. (My father is one.) Thanks to Mrs. Mullen for the information below.


Jack Stevens was one of fourteen children, born in 1926 in New Brunswick, Canada. Dropping out of school at 16, he enlisted in the Canadian armed forces. World War II ended before he could be deployed to Europe.


He experienced a spiritual conversion at 24, and became a devoted follower of Jesus. Believing God was calling him to be a pastor, he made plans to attend Bethany Bible College.


But that summer Jack's father was killed in a farm accident.  The oldest unmarried son, he was given the care of four younger siblings and an ailing mother. Yet he still believed God wanted him to proceed to college in the fall. 


Jack gathered firewood for the upcoming winter and put storm windows on the family house. By the time he arrived at Bethany, classes had been in session for a month. He was allowed to complete his high school requirements and begin ministerial training. Sometimes he was virtually penniless, but Jack trusted God to provide, and he experienced God's provision.


Completing his studies, Jack moved his invalid mother and four siblings to Norton, New Brunswick. He was challenged to restart a small church that had been closed for several years. 


Jack began visiting people in the community and restarted the church with a small congregation. He was not a singer, so congregational singing was led by a record player. He held meetings in two "nearby" community churches, each about ten miles from Norton. Since he had no vehicle, he walked the distance (!) .


Over five years he scheduled evangelistic meetings, held Vacation Bible Schools, and baptized new converts. Since he had carpentry skills, he repaired the old church building. After buying his first car, he filled it with teens and traveled 25 miles to hold church services in Grey's Mills.


Jack loved kids. He envisioned and built a playground at Beulah Camp, the beautiful campground and camp meeting operated by Reformed Baptists (now Wesleyans) on the Saint John River. He dismantled an old church building in Westfield and reassembled it (15 miles away) at Beulah Camp for children's ministry.


At 34, he married Merle Otis, a good, godly, precious woman. Over the years they raised six children to whom they were devoted.


Later, Jack was Business Manager and Dean of Men at Bethany Bible College. He pastored two churches in Nova Scotia and another in New Brunswick before he died of cancer in 1978, just short of his 52nd birthday.


When I knew Jack best, I was a teenager and he was almost my father's age. I liked what I saw in him, but little did I know of his greatness.


God grant us to know many others like Jack, people of integrity, full of determination, possessed with a love that cannot be quenched and a dream that cannot die.

Great Big Sea

I hope you'll take the time to listen to the Canadian group Great Big Sea. 


Since 1993 they have been traveling throughout North America and Europe, performing music that's a hybrid of rock and traditional Newfoundland folk music.
If you've not seen them before, maybe the best place to begin is the music video of "Lukey," on which they are joined by The Chieftains. ( see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOw3w-00Jqw )


Alan Doyle, Sean McCann and Bob Hallett (along with former member Darrell Power) opened a door for me into Canadian folk music. I had grown up singing some of this in school, and occasionally watching "Don Messer's Jubilee" and "Ryan's Fancy". But as a kid I was barely interested.


These guys are almost always better watched than merely listened to. The best place to begin is with the Great Big CD and DVD.

They rented a hockey arena and filled it with rowdy fans -- no, there must be a stronger word than rowdy -- crazy and berserk might be better adjectives here. My guess is that most of those Canadian fans had been drinking beer for several hours before the taping began.


Multi-instrumentalist Bob Hallett is the guy I pay attention to. He plays fiddle, accordion, mandolin, concertina, bouzouki, whistles and bagpipe (at least according to the Wikipedia article -- I've never seen him on bagpipes.)


With only one Canadian radio hit single ("Ordinary Day"), they can still fill venues from Virginia to California, from Saint John's to Houston. They remind me in this of Jimmy Buffet, who has made a 40-year career out of one hit single.


Our Irish band 'That Raucous Crew" has spent a lot of time listening to Great Big Sea. We sing covers of "Lukey," "The River Driver," "I's the B'y," "Donkey Riding," and maybe another song or two.


As a serious follower of Jesus I don't approve of all their shenanigans. But, like I say, they've opened a door for me to Canadian folk music that I never should have closed.

Accordion Comeback

Joke: The robber was caught on the security video: "Everybody put your hands up! I've got an accordion and I know how to use it!"


The 1911 Encyclopedia Britannica -- "The timbre of the accordion is coarse and devoid of beauty, but in the hands of a skilful performer the best instruments are not entirely without artistic merit."


The accordion gets no respect. It is the Rodney Dangerfield of musical instruments.


For most of my life I thought of the accordion as weird and uncool. Lawrence Welk. Myron Floren. Whatever.


I remember how nerdy and feminine it seemed to me as a kid. Each summer there would be Sunday afternoon river baptisms at our church camp, and the singing was accompanied by a nice lady squeezing out "O happy day, that fixed my choice..."


Our family friend was a lifelong song evangelist, a man of honor whose piano skills were legendary. Yet in my mind, I associate him with the squeezebox he so often played. So uncool.


But that was before the guy in Nirvana used it one time. That was before John Mellencamp started using it on almost all of his recordings. And that was before I fell in love with folk music around the world.


Check them out on You Tube: Bob Hallett of Great Big Sea, Buckwheat Zydeco, Flaco Jimenez and 100 others. Cajun, Tex Mex, Irish -- it's common for accordion videos on You Tube to have more than 100,000 viewers.


And Roland has developed its line of V-Accordions -- digital accordions that are "selling like hotcakes," according to my friends at Washington Music Center, one of America's largest music retailers.


For six years now, I've had my own cheap Chinese-made model (someday I'd like to own a nicer one), and I play it with our Irish band "That Raucous Crew." That band has become one of the unexpected blessings of my life.


So let's hear it for the lowly squeezebox. There are millions of us who love it, even if there are billions who don't.  :)

Financial Infidelity in Marriage

from Thursday's (April 8, 2010) Frederick (MD) News-Post:

Financial infidelity major reason for divorce
Frederick News-Post, April 8, 2010
by Susan Guynn, News-Post Staff 

Secret credit card accounts.

Mysterious purchases.

Buying items just to get back at your spouse over an argument over money.

It's like cheating on your spouse with money. Call it financial infidelity.

"It ranges from the man who impulsively buys something without telling his wife to saving money and hiding it -- not for the couple's use and not telling the other spouse," said Larry Letich, an individual and marital therapist.

The deception shatters trust.

"The person who is being hidden from feels a loss of control and betrayal," as they would if their partner was involved in sexual infidelity.

"It's actually a very common occurrence simply because couples avoid discussions about their finances," Eva Lucht said, a licensed clinical counselor with South Mountain Counseling Services in Middletown . "Often couples are mismatched in their beliefs in how money is spent or what a need is versus a want."

According to a 2005 survey sponsored by Redbook magazine and lawyers.com, nearly one-third of U.S. adults ages 25 to 55 who are in a committed relationship admit they've been dishonest with their partner about spending habits. Women are more likely to be the ones withholding information, according to the survey.

Whether you call it financial infidelity, secret spending, checkbook cheating or just a little white lie, the bottom line, according to financial planning and marriage experts, is that it ranks right up there with sexual infidelity as a major reason for divorce.

"Infidelity usually means one person has decided to start a behavior that is not accepted by the other person," Lucht said. "They do it on the sly, spending money without the other person knowing about it."

Lucht said this type of infidelity is a signal that the relationship isn't open and honest.

"The couple can't come to a common consensus about what to spend money on," she said. "They have different spending styles or spending agendas."

Lucht counseled a couple where one partner used "their" money to buy drugs. With another couple, one partner made a big-ticket purchase in anger to get back at the other over an argument.

Letich said there can be a number of underlying reasons for financial infidelity, but "in reality it's fear of putting yourself in another person's hands."

"Money symbolizes control, security and, for many people, freedom," he said. "The fear is the fear of being controlled. It can also be the fear that if they trust anyone else with their money it can be taken away."

Letich said those are fears people most often bring into the relationship.

"It's also a pattern that develops in many couples where one person is the free spender and the other is a conservative one," he said.

The opposite view may be an attraction at first, but it can become a major relationship issue.

"Our society often propounds the idea of taking care of yourself, 'looking out for No. 1,' with No. 1 being yourself," said Gary Derr of Mount Airy , director of the Greater National Capital Area for Crown Financial Ministries. Founded in 1976, the organization equips individuals, families, churches and businesses to learn and apply biblical financial principles.

"Marriage is a commitment to forge a new life with another person. And all marriages need an agreed-upon plan or process for dealing with and resolving financial issues to provide safeguards and accountability, and to sustain trust and unity in the relationship," Derr said.

Finances are a "huge part" of the oneness in marriage that scripture speaks of in Genesis, Derr said. One way to prevent financial infidelity is to have joint accounts, which allow both access to account information.

"If they have a 'his money/her money' mentality it's easy for division to creep in, leading to a husband vs. wife ideology," he said.

Even if both partners have different views on money and spending "it is possible for them to make a plan that will work well for them, but it definitely requires communication -- open, honest communication," Derr said. Many couples need help with the financial planning process. Crown has Money Map coaches to help them develop a plan.

"Sometimes communication gaps can be intense, with damage done in the marital relationship to the extent that they will need to seek other outside help as well," Derr said.

Letich said the red flags of financial infidelity are not unlike those of sexual infidelity. "There's a secretive aspect to it," he said. If you feel there is less money than there should be, trust your instincts and ask your partner about it.

He said couples should work on finances together and not let one partner handle it all.

"Be aware of what's going on with your money," Letich said. "There are people who, surprisingly, don't even know how much money their spouse makes."

Sometimes the infidelity has its root in a gambling or other addiction, Lucht said.

When financial infidelity happens, Derr said the first thing to do is "bring it to light, so it loses its destructive power. The offending spouse needs to come to an understanding of his or her wrongdoing and the damage it has caused, talk about it with his or her partner and seek forgiveness." A change in behavior, such as having all finances open to the other.

An "accountability resource," such as another couple or financial counselor, can ask the hard questions and provide encouragement. Part of the accountability might be having each person request a credit report periodically that can bring "secret" things to light, Derr said.

Working on a financial plan together can help rebuild the relationship, too, he said. "An important element of this can be the stipulation that neither one will spend over (an agreed upon amount) without first consulting the other."

And if your partner wants to discuss a financial problem or concern you were not aware of, "keep listening, don't go into denial," Letich said. Concealing problems, financial or otherwise, won't resolve them.

The Prayer List

This from Michael Spencer's "Internet Monk" blog (Mr. Spencer has recently died of cancer):

I Like the Prayer List

The prayer list frees us from the notion that the people of God are the healthy, happy ones who turned up for worship today. It reminds us that our community is extended into hospitals, nursing homes, psych hospitals, the homes of the poor, the relationships we have with other kinds of Christians and the mission we’re on together.

The prayer list is a picture of the broken and humbled body of Christ. It has a particular kind of beauty, and I’m glad our church- which hasn’t gotten around to a confession, covenant or constitution- has that prayer list.

It’s part of my journey these days to know that my name will one day be on that list, and these will be the people who will love and pray for me when my place in the church is to be ministered unto by the praying people of God.

(from "Cranach: The Blog of Veith")

Four New Hymns

Thanks to Pastor Thurland Brown for using an earlier-posted hymn at Winchester Wesleyan Church in Winchester, Ontario.

Here are four more hymn texts. (copyright 2010 by Gary L. Hicks) You are free to use and adapt these at no charge.

GOD THE FATHER, GREAT CREATOR (Holy Trinity)

may be sung to the Polish folk tune W ZLOBIE LEZY (4.4.7.4.4.7.4.4.4.4.7.)

(Infant Holy, Infant Lowly)

1. God the Father, Great Creator

From before the dawn of time

You are holy, You are worthy

With a gracious plan in mind

We acclaim You with the angels

With Your Church throughout the ages

HOLY, HOLY IS THE LORD!

HOLY, HOLY IS THE LORD!

2. Son of God, the LORD’s Messiah

To a virgin’s womb You came

Humbly suffered here among us

Jesus Christ, the highest name

Made us righteous by Your Passion

Hear our praise from every nation

HOLY, HOLY IS THE LORD!

HOLY, HOLY IS THE LORD!

3. Holy Spirit, Wind from heaven

Breath of Jesus, Heavenly Dove

Come and break us, come to change us

Fill our hearts with holy love

Blessed Trinity, together

From eternity, forever

HOLY, HOLY IS THE LORD!

HOLY, HOLY IS THE LORD!

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COME LET US SING UNTO THE LORD

(Venite) (Psalm 95:1-7; 96:9, 13)

may be sung to MELITA (8.8.8.8.8.8.)

(Eternal Father, Strong to Save)

music by John B. Dykes (1823-1876)

Come let us sing unto the LORD

With songs of joy for His strong arm

And grateful to His presence come

With glad and thankful psalms of praise

Come lift your voice and gladly sing

To Adonai, Almighty King.

He is the Lord, above all gods

In His strong hand He holds the earth

The strength of all the hills is His

He made the sea and owns its waves

Come lift your voice and gladly sing

To Adonai, Almighty King.

O let us worship and bow down

Before the LORD our Maker kneel

For He is Yahweh, gracious God

We are the sheep of domain

Come lift your voice and gladly sing

To Adonai, Almighty King.

O worship Him in holiness

And let the whole earth stand in awe

For now He comes to judge the earth

With righteousness and in His truth

So come, with saints and angels sing

To Adonai, Almighty King.

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BE JOYFUL IN THE LORD, O LANDS

(Jubilate) (Psalm 100)

may be sung to ELLACOMBE (8.6.8.6.D.) (C.M.D.)

(I Sing the Mighty Power of God)

from Gesangbuch der Herzogl , 1784

secondary tunes: FOREST GREEN (traditional English melody)

 and KINGSFOLD (traditional English melody) (O Sing A Song of Bethlehem)

Be joyful in the LORD, O lands

Let shouts of gladness rise

Acknowledge now your gracious God

The Sovereign of the skies

He shaped us by His grand design

He rules the cosmos well

We are His sheep, His precious flock

In His green fields we dwell.

O bring thanksgiving through His gates

Your loud and grateful songs

Come bless our just and holy God

To Him our praise belongs

For He is good, His mercy lasts,

His truth endures always

Let all His kingdom rise in awe

To render shouts of praise.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

THE SAVIOUR WELCOMES ALL TO SHARE

music: UNE JEUNE PUCELLE (8.6.8.6.8.8. with chorus 6.4.7.) 16^th century French carol (‘Twas In the Moon of Wintertime)

1. The Saviour welcomes all to share His happy wedding feast

He calls us now to eat with Him, from greatest to the least

Come wash your hands, your hearts prepare

And let us join with Christ to share,

ALLELU, ALLELU, SING ALLELU

SING TO JESUS ALLELU!

2. He has a fountain ready for the dusty and unclean

And robes of purest white to wear, so let us enter in

Come leave behind the dark’ning night

And sing your song of sweet delight:

ALLELU, ALLELU, SING ALLELU

SING TO JESUS ALLELU!

3. He calls the restless wanderer, the weak and poor and blind

Though other doors be closed to you, a welcome here you’ll find

O taste the goodness of your God

He offers you His heav’nly food.

ALLELU, ALLELU, SING ALLELU

SING TO JESUS ALLELU!

"Our People Die Well"

My old friend, Dr. Stephen Elliott, writes:

"People remember how we begin and how we end, but very little in between. I have seen every variation on this truism:

(1) people who began poorly and ended poorly;

(2) people who began poorly, but ended well;

(3) people who began well, but ended poorly;

(4) people who began well and ended well.

If you are starting or ending something, make sure you start or end well. That is what people will remember."

No matter how we began life, it's important that we end life well.

Once asked for a key to the success of early Methodists, John Wesley reportedly said, "Our people die well."

When I come to the end of life's journey I'll look back over my days, hoping that my actions have resulted in some good for others, some benefit for my children and grandchildren and those who follow.

I'm concerned about my legacy. I don't want my living to have been in vain.

This recalls the 20th century song:

If I can help somebody, as I pass along,

If I can cheer somebody, with a word or song,

If I can show somebody, how they're travelling wrong,
Then my living shall not be in vain...


If I can do my duty, as a Christian ought,
If I can bring back beauty, to a world upwrought,
If I can spread love's message, as the Master taught,
Then my living shall not be in vain.         
(author & copyright unknown)


END WELL!